在學校裡情況也類似，我在Walnut Creek Christian Academy從幼稚園一直讀到初中，課堂裡，我的進步非常慢。無論是下課時、課後托兒、或暑期活動，負責照管孩子安全的人每次都得大費周章，才能讓我不發生危險。漸漸地，父母決定捨棄藥物、不再依賴它們。讓人吃驚的是，經過很多的禱告之後，我的情況開始好轉。不再那麼瘋瘋癲顛、吵鬧發脾氣，我從被人輕篾中退到自我防護網裡。
／ 9. 10. 2010 阿丹寫
／ 9. 15. 2010 瀟碧譯
我放上這篇18歲阿丹寫的「我到哪裡去了？」(Where Have I Gone?) ，讓過動兒自己來回顧過動兒的種種吧！這文章寫得非常生動有趣，同時又真實有創意。
/ 瀟碧 9. 17. 2010
Where Have I Gone?
Many instances that seem to happen in strange ways around me, I recall being an outside viewer yet standing in such a secret and significant place right in the middle of it. Starting at a grocery store, one particular youth drew the most unwarranted attention. Fallen products and produce lie where they have been yanked off from counter-tops, high disturbance shattering through the walls. I feel the intense heat and energy aroused within, catching the overflowing adrenaline allowing it to go on.
Over the intense crying and whining, the rage gets lost in the broken mess that is created. Those able and willing, fail at attempting to help; like the parents falling behind this speeding flash. An exodus for the check-outs and doors to leave as the terror is at last restrained. A rush to the car hoping to avoid another breakout, the squirming child is strapped to the back seat and glances across his mirrored reflection who looks a lot like me.
How clearly I can remember any details of my early childhood is at a loss, and now being older at an age grown out of such immaturity; I can only look back with a perspective from ones who have better memories. Hearing from my parents and neighbors, supervisors or teachers at Church and school having to watch and put up with me; I gather small bits and parts of long past stories. At home, it is not always as bad in public. I feel more calm, tired in a cozy surrounding. Adored dearly by Mother and Father, and ever so slightly by my older sisters; I seem to act upon a more hearty relationship and comfort with my family. Rules and authority all the same are rejected, as I can not seem to drive my focus and actions for any greater good.
Another account, it is late night at the airport and I am traveling with my parents and sister to relatives in Canada. First day right after celebrating my 7th birthday; I should be old enough to start a change but seemingly not yet. Everyone is tired, waiting, and only me extremely more fussy wanting to dash madly about to wreak havoc. Dad sits there drifting in and out of sleep, while he hugs me like a wrestling pillow. Amid my Aunties and Uncles, they have asked of whose command I answer to the best. The oldest of cousins spend almost the entire trip to get out of whose turn it is to handle me. Aggravated over whether I would suddenly jump or kick my way through whatever I want, this one vacation or reunion is more a harassment.
Often times the TV or video games would relieve the intensity but ends up enhancing it. At first it helped to keep me preoccupied on one game, staying in a fixed location with my sister and cousins. Only to go back to being even worse, I would abuse the game and drive angrily for more of the entertainment. During a family photo, wasted time spent on drawing me away from either neighbors’ dogs or horseplay only to have the photo messed up as a result. Outside, I take on tackling or tickle fights or “footsie” attacks against any cousin I could get away with. My pediatrician tells of my first few visits when he diagnosed me with this particular condition. His greatest challenge trying to deal with a patient who does not sit still at all and has destroyed the paperwork files along with the nurse’s station. Massive head-aches and the burdening strain comes with the immense care and love for my well-being. Every second, it seems that both parents and maybe even my sister at times would be needed to come at my attention.
Similarly with school, in the classes I show slow improvement through the years up to Junior High at Walnut Creek Christian Academy. The yard duty, during recess or at daycare and summer activities, would always have the biggest chore to keep me from risk of danger. Gradually the medicines provided and depended upon were given up, and surprisingly I started doing better after much praying in the Lord. Not so much crazy madness or noisy fits but a withdrawal from all the public scorn into my protective stage. Few friends I made were able to accept my oddity and differences, as I began to slowly adapt and improve socially and academically. My craze has turned into a more inflexible and narrow pursuit, where I would be distracted from multiple things to being unable to change from a single, set task.
I have in mind the blessed teachers through elementary school that have built me up onto the path God has planned for me. So many times, my behavior called for physical abuse or verbal rage to discipline. Distant from my peers and causing such a problem everyday, either hurting someone or not studying well; it all has been dealt with for my benefit. Apart from furiously running about, mishandling property, loud exclamations indoors, and upfront rebellious disobedience to not realizing what I am doing; the experience with current, negative consequences is for me an amazing opportunity.
I recollect my past to do whatever is best in my present and future. Stepping into the place and roles of those who watched over me, I use my ability for those following in behind. The younger children dealt with weekly, I know they can never be as bad as I was. No matter how much wrath I want to unleash, all those times where I could have gone terribly wrong has turned out to this. Slightly coming upon persecution or ridicule for my past condition, I can use to my benefit when lending a hand to those going through their hardships. All my undergone, uncontrolled emotions and impulses need not be made known or dealt with onto others.
I have been graced from God, with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
/ 9. 10. 2010